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Through the individual stories and experiences shared in Real Relationships, we aim to paint a more realistic picture of love in the world today. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and are not necessarily based on research conducted by The Gottman Institute.
Jason Momoa and wife Lisa Bonet made headlines last week when Momoa recalled how he was a "nervous wreck" when he initially asked Bonet out on a date. Momoa was just 26 years old at the time, and approaching Bonet, who is 12 years his senior, was intimidating. Momoa worked up the nerve and the two have been together since. What is it about older women? It still seems more common for men to seek out younger women, but one of TODAY's most-read stories continues to be this post on why younger men fall for older women.
We've celebrated the long-term relationships between actor Hugh Jackman, who is 13 years younger than wife Deborra-Lee Furness.
Robinson syndrome. Definitely, no question. Oh yeah, and once you've done it, you definitely look at older women in another way. We've made our position known and shared the thoughts and experiences of the women to whom we talked.
Now it's time to let the men speak for themselves. One important question we asked was what they felt an older woman has to offer. Here are some answers which are clear, articulate and to the point. Their sentiments represent a very large proportion of the opinions we heard expressed.
When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure about that. I wasn't looking for an older woman and Karolina wasn't looking for a younger man, but it just happened. I was 39 and she was 55 then.
Dating a man 16 years younger forced me to grow up
Our relationship is unique, because it's not just built on sexbut on trust, respect and love. We are both morning people and nearly always in a good mood. We are both hard-working with many hobbies in common. In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship. In our twenty-five years together, we have never had a serious problem and we are still very happy.
Sinun tietosi. sinun kokemuksesi.
Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn't know I was attracted to an 'older' woman. I knew she was older than I, but I didn't realize the disparity in age until she told me which didn't happen until a couple of dates into our relationship. Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn't find in anyone else.
I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before. Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in part for their clarity and substance and also their relaxed attitude about life:.
I like the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy. I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women.
I've always had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It's really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive.
Advice for dating younger men
I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don't have time for that behavior—that's why I like mature women.
It's like a rush. Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman's own specialness:.
She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they've got more experience.
Men confess: 22 reasons why younger guys fall for older women
I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy.
Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her. Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic.
Can an older woman-younger man relationship work?
When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself.
Age gap: things to know about dating someone older
Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends. Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly.
Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman's current older boyfriend, who was by her side. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him.
It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation. After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early 20s. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club.
His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior.
I'm 35 & my boyfriend is surprisingly, it works.
Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period. He decided this time to accept it. His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched. After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:.
It equates to stability.
7 things you absolutely must know before dating a younger man
They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me.