If you click a link and make a purchase, I may make a commission, at no extra cost to you. This helps me continue creating travel resources — so thank you! Dating with a five hour time difference and sometimes more! You can read all about the story behind my international long distance relationship and how to make your own LDR work in this post. Long distance relationships, including international ones, are definitely getting more popular as our world becomes more globalized.
You get along, have fun together, and things seem to be going well. The only problem? They just received an offer for their dream job in another state. Or, maybe you hit it off with someone online who happens to live on the other side of the country. They might seem scary or challenging, but long-distance relationships can and do succeed. They just require a bit of extra consideration and work. Local and long-distance relationships require a lot of the same things. Long-distance ones, however, will require a bit more conscious thought.
When you first begin a long-distance relationship, decide how often you want to talk, beyond quick text messages throughout the day. You might both agree you want to talk frequently but disagree about what that actually means. If your ideal levels of communication differ, finding a compromise early on can help prevent frustration later. A communication schedule can also help. This is a big one. Remember that you have your own life in your city. You might feel like part of you is missing if your partner is miles away, but try to keep up with your usual routines. Plus, keeping busy often helps relieve feelings of loneliness.
Physical distance can sometimes make a relationship seem more casual. But prioritizing your partner, just as you would when dating someone locally, is crucial in making long-term relationships work. Of course, things will come up, but try to let your partner know as soon as possible.
And if you can, schedule a makeup chat session. Switching up how you keep in touch may help you feel more connected.
You might share photos and videos with Snapchat, keep up a chat on Facebook Messenger, text on occasion, and make a quick phone call over your lunch break or when you wake up in the morning. Note that some people get overwhelmed when keeping track of multiple conversations, so this may not work for everyone.
Consider trying nondigital modes of communication, too. Try sharing a letter journal or scrapbook full of notes, pictures, and mementos from your daily lives.
1. watch a movie in sync!
Send it back and forth, taking turns adding to it. If this sounds familiar, try to focus your energy on making the most out of communication. As you think of things to share throughout the day, jot them down so you remember them later. If you have something on your mind, talk about it instead of letting it go unsaid. Distance can prevent you from feeling physically close to your partner. But lacking minor details can make you feel even farther apart emotionally. Your instinct may lead you to focus on deep or meaningful topics so you can make the conversations you do have count.
Maintaining sexual intimacy is a key challenge in many long-distance relationships. If you and your partner enjoy regular sex, you might struggle with the lack of intimate contact during your weeks or months apart. Just keep in mind that not everyone feels comfortable with digital intimacy, so always discuss individual boundaries around photos, phone sex, or webcam use.
Sharing awkward moments can actually help you build more intimacy. Think of their toothbrush in the bathroom, their favorite jam in the refrigerator, or even the scent of their shampoo on the bed pillows. During your next visits, consider purposely leaving some belongings with each other. Hang up some clothes in the closet, leave books on the shelf, and buy a favorite brand of tea or coffee to leave behind.
The next time you visit, those things will be waiting. Consider doing some advanced planning to get a good deal on plane tickets or look into alternative transportation options, such as trains Activities for long distance relationships ride shares. Walking through the grocery store, you see a couple debating different peanut butters. You feel a pang of envy that they get to do this mundane task together. Thanks to the rise of streaming, you can watch movies or TV shows on opposite sides of the world. Synchronize the beginning of the movie by starting at exactly the same time.
Long distance date ideas: 23 activities for tonight! (updated)
Enjoy the movie with your partner by calling or video chatting while you watch. Relax and be yourself, just like you would if your partner were in the room with you. Share a walk with your partner by talking on the phone while you spend time outside in your neighborhood, a favorite spot, or somewhere entirely new. You can mention any new or interesting things you see and even take pictures.
Arranging to do the same activity at the same time can increase your sense of connection. Walking and video chatting at the same time can be a little dangerous, but find a favorite park or other quiet spot to have a short video call. Hobbies can challenge you, help you pass time in an enjoyable way, and promote relaxation. If you and your partner both have enough time to try out a new hobby, consider finding something you can do together. You can even do different things at the same time.
Video chatting while one of you practices guitar and the other sketches, for example, can resemble the kind of evening you might have when physically spending time together. Try making the same dish and see if they turn out the same — just make sure to keep you phone or computer away from any food or liquid!
27 long distance date ideas that will keep you going when you’re apart
Put on music and have a glass of wine or your favorite drink together. End on a romantic note with a video chat during a candlelit bath and intimate conversation. It also helps you keep in touch with family and friends you might not see otherwise. Staying connected like this can be especially important if one partner lives alone in a new city with no loved ones nearby. What works for one couple might not do much for another. Still, there are a few things you should probably avoid doing in any kind of long-distance relationship. Long-distance relationships require you trust each other to maintain the boundaries of your relationship.
Maybe they miss a goodnight call, talk a lot about new friends, or seem less responsive to texts for a few days. When this happens, communicate your concerns instead of letting worries tempt you into asking for proof of where they were or photos of them in bed each night. If you only see your partner occasionally, you might feel the urge to make every minute of your visit worthwhile.
If you prefer to talk about difficult emotions or feelings in person, you might struggle to find ways to share these things with a long-distance partner.
But avoiding serious discussions can eventually cause problems. Plus, the absence of facial expressions or body language can make it easy to misread words or intentions, which can make misunderstandings more likely. While even the firmest relationship goals can change over time, it never hurts to have a conversation in the beginning about what you hope comes from the relationship. Do you just want a close friend or fling? Or are you hoping to grow good relationship skills and a shared life, even marriage? Have these talks early on.
It may not be realistic for you or your partner to immediately reply to messages or phone calls. But you might notice, when you do talk, that they seem distracted or disinterested. If this becomes a pattern, you might feel worried, even jealous if you know they spend a lot of time with other friends. Without responsiveness, the mind fills in the blanks with negatives.
Do they have empathy for your worries? Even if one of you has more going on, both parties are responsible for maintaining the relationship. It can also leave you feeling insecure in the relationship. One answer to this issue? Better communication on both sides.
If one of you has less emotional energy due to work obligations or stress, talk about it. Having an honest conversation about what you can both realistically contribute can help to lift some of the burden and ensure you both feel secure. Most people dislike conflict, especially in a relationship. Long-distance relationships sometimes involve less conflict naturally. Strongly opposing viewpoints can lead to conflict, but they can also help you recognize that a relationship may not work out long term.